


Audio/Visual Quest

by Dynared21



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Gen, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9872171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dynared21/pseuds/Dynared21
Summary: Pidge and Lance have journeyed to a mysterious planet in order to find the technical details to Zarkon's fortress...as well as a TV that they can hook up their Gamestation to! But who owns the mysterious collection they run across, and will the pair be able to escape with their gains? Or will they end up the newest exhibits of this collector?





	1. Into the Vault

The ground below showed nothing but grassy knolls and the occasional forest. Untouched by civilization, the peaceful planets only reaction to the roar of the jet engines above it was for the trees to rustle and the grass to blow in the wind. It should have been perfectly safe and inviting.

Both Lance and Pidge had seen enough traps to know that didn't guarantee anything.

"Where is it?" Lance asked.

"Looks like the structure is underground," Pidge answered. "About twenty clicks ahead. I guess whoever built it didn't want to disturb the natural beauty."

"Natural boredom is more like it. There's nothing but grass for miles. And you're sure this place has it?"

"Coran seemed pretty sure."

* * *

_Ah, the Equis System! That planet there is supposedly home to a collector known as the Living Archive!_

_Living Archive?_

_So the records say. You see, no one's actually seen the man, but his, or her, agents are known to go throughout the cosmos, trading for items and knowledge. It's presumed they all come to this planet._

_And no one's ever found them, right?_

_Right-o! But if anyone's going to have the plans to Zarkon's master fortress, it will be him! Or her. Whatever._

* * *

"So we go in and we get the plans?"

"You think I volunteered for this mission for PLANS?!" Pidge asked, her voice indignant at the suggestion.

"Well, they did say this guy would have everything. Including…"

"Including the TV we need to play Killbot Phantasm! The plans are just, you know, a bonus."

"A 'bonus' we need," Lance said even as the Green and Blue lions reached their destination, a clear plain of grass with a small forest nearby. As both Paladins disembarked their lions, Lance asked the question that was gnawing at him despite Pidge's enthusiasm.

"You know, you shouldn't be so sure this guy has a TV. What if he was never near Earth?"

"Oh he has a TV," Pidge answered, walking towards the forest. "How do you think we found this place?"

"…Come again?"

"I figured the best person to contact about getting a TV is the person who sold us the console," Pidge said. "He didn't have it, but he knew about some weird people who would regularly go to his store and other stores for new movies and games. From there it was just a matter of following the trail."

"How did you know how to contact him?"

"He left a business card on Kaltenecker. You would have noticed it if a certain someone was mysteriously absent when we had to clean the poor cow off!"

"I was doing a supply run!" Lance said. "You can't blame me for working!"

"Sure, 'work'. How many girls turned you down during the course of 'work' that day?"

Instead of answering the question, Lance went into the forest, looking on at a small device on his armor.

"Blue's sensors noticed the hollow point around here. There's gotta be an entrance that leads underground."

"You're not getting off that easy. You're cleaning Kaltenecker next time."

Rather than acknowledge Pidge's answer, Lance began to knock on the ground in the hopes of finding something. She did not take it lightly.

"You're ignoring me."

"No," Lance replied. "I'm listening. I'm just choosing not to answer you in the hopes you forget later."

"Not gonna work."

"Oh come on," Lance said, knocking on the ground all the while. "I came with you, didn't I?"

"Because you knew I wouldn't let you touch the console otherwise," Pidge answered. "You want to play, you put in the work."

"I did it out of the kindness of my heart," Lance said, before adding, "Also yes."

Pidge had little time to appreciate the confession rung out of Lance as his knocking revealed a hollow sound associated with metal. Smiling, he pointed by where the hollow knocking came from.

"Well, I found the entrance. How do we get in?"

Shaking her head, Pidge lightly shoved Lance out of the way.

"Let an expert handle it."

Soon enough, Pidge had moved to a corner, finding a small console. Pressing it, a mechanical whirring noise was heard as a large panel retracted, revealing a long staircase that led underground. Walking down it, Lance couldn't help but say, "You would have never found that switch without me."

"Just keep telling yourself that."

* * *

Miles below the surface, a noise beeped in a massive control room, altering its sole living resident. As he turned to the screens, he was flanked by numerous beings, some completely mechanical, some only partially so. Their stares were focused on the reaction of their master as he looked on at the monitors.

"How did they find this place?"

No response came from the legions behind him, allowing their master to reflect on his own thoughts. Looking at additional cameras monitoring the outside of the facility, he gasped heavily.

"The…The Voltron Lions? Well, well, perhaps they didn't come empty handed after all. Let's see how they far they get."

* * *

The stairs led the pair deeper below the surface; an overly long setup for a punchline Lance was getting impatient to see.

"How much longer?"

"Got me," Pidge said. "There's no signs or welcoming committee."

Right as she said that however, the stairs finally ended, leading to a long, wide corridor. On its sides were clear glass planes, which the curious Green Paladin couldn't help but knock on.

"Feels like fiberglass," Pidge said. "Probably bulletproof. And before you ask, please don't test that theory."

Lance groaned, but lowered his rifle, instead choosing to look through said windows. What he found shocked him, made him giddy, and slightly unnerved him.

"Look at all that stuff!"

Carefully placed on individual shelves so as to show them off through the hallways were dozens of vehicles, tools, and other random objects, most too alien or unfamiliar to the eyes of either Paladin.

"If he has all this, he's gotta have a TV lying around somewhere, right?" Pidge asked.

"Yeah, sure," Lance said. "Probably down the hall from the Gundam."

"The Gu…wha?"

Three shelves down from what looked like an alien transport was a white, bipedal robot with multiple rifles hanging off of it and two 'V' shaped antenna protruding from the camera in its forehead. Its face was covered by a silver faceplate with several horizontal vents in it. She looked on at the machine in awe, having recognized it from watching videos online.

"The Gundam F-91?!"

"Hah, nerd!" Lance said, only to feel a hard kick to his shinbone. As he began clutching it in pain, Pidge continued to stare on the white bipedal mecha, which until yesterday, Pidge assumed was a fictional creation from a Japanese animation studio.

"That shouldn't exist. It's not real."

"You know what's real? This pain! It hurts!"

"No, I'm serious! Why would this grand alien collection have a robot from a cartoon? Is there more stuff around here that's fictional?"

"Looks real to me," Lance said. "Hey, you think they have hoverboards too? I always wanted one. Or maybe self-tying shoes!"

_I don't like people coming here uninvited._

"Cute, Pidge," Lance said, however, Pidge was quick to reply.

"That wasn't me."

Breathing deep, Lance turned around to see what had called him out on his gawking. Sure enough, he regretted looking.

The two creatures looked humanoid, with pale white skin, but said skin was only on certain parts of their bodies. On others, including their arms and a portion of their heads, chrome mechanical components could clearly be seen. Among said components were what appeared to be laser cannons on their raised mechanical arms.

"RUN!"

The pair took off through the tunnel, dodging the laser blasts that came their way. All the while, they passed by countless more items from the collection, from endless cultures. Had Pidge not been running for her life, she would have seen fit to examine pretty much all of them.

Instead, the pair went to the end of the hallway, with a sole door guarding its exit. With no escape, Pidge raised her shield while Lance began to look for an exit. The cyborg guards moved in closer, firing all the while, with Lance's eyes darting and dashing, looking for some, any escape. However, it was Pidge who spoke first.

"Shoot that corner!" she yelled, pointing to a section of the glass about three feet away.

"You sure?"

"Do it!"

Nodding, Lance clutched his weapon and fired, the beam bouncing to and fro between the laser-proof glass, and directly into their two cyborg pursuers. Seeing them fall to the ground, Pidge stood up, smiling.

"Thank me later. Actually, thank me right now. I totally deserve it."

"I guess you do," Lance answered, lowering his rifle. Turning to the door in front of them, they were both surprised to see it open suddenly. The same voice that had chastised them before spoke again as it did so, a deep tone hiding a sense of annoyance.

_Well, I suppose if you're going to be touching my things, we should meet face to face. The elevator to the main control room is just ahead._

As promised, in the next room, past the glass bridge that went through the rows and rows of items were several elevators. Said elevators were in tubes made of the same glass that covered the hallways, allowing the occupants to look at the various collected items as they stood still. It was clear that whoever built this facility specifically designed it to show off their collection.

"They have all this other crap, you think they have a TV?" Lance asked.

"I know they do!" Pidge answered, pointing outside. "Look!"

Outside the window, tucked away between what looked like an alien clock and a table was an LCD television, and alongside it, an older CRT. The pair smiled.

"Well," Lance said, "we found it. How do we get it out of here?"

 _You don't_ , interrupted the voice, even as the elevator went past the various shelved items into a black room. The elevator opened, with a pathway of light leading to a door that slid open.

"We're not hostile," Pidge said. "We want to discuss a trade, but we were attacked."

_Of course, you were attacked. You tried to sneak into here to liberate some of my items._

"How about you come out and show yourself?" Lance said aloud to the voice. Silence dominated the room for a minute before the voice responded.

_OK._

The lights in the room suddenly turned on, causing the two to adjust their vision. In front of them was a massive flat monitor, revealing the face of an older dark skinned man with gray hair and wrinkles.

"Hello. Now, I suppose you're wondering who I am."

"I'm wondering why you're using that face," Lance said. "I've seen enough movies to know who that really belongs to."

"Perhaps then," the man replied, even as the face on the monitor began to twist and contort, "you would prefer this one."

"Zarkon!" Pidge yelled, but the face of "Zarkon" shook his head.

"No. I simply assumed a form that you would respect, even if out of instinctual fear. Now, what business do you have here?"

"What are you?" Pidge asked. 'Zarkon' chuckled slightly at the question.

"I suppose it's fair to tell you what I am before I ask you a question. I am an artificial intelligence code named EXEL, which in the language of my creators is an acronym that means Intelligence Gathering and Archival. I was designed for the sole purpose of archiving and preserving the collected products of all cultures throughout the universe, so when the time comes that they die, their creations are not lost. In the archives above us are countless items recreated, infinite amounts of data collecting art, music, entertainment, and science, all kept so that they not die. I've even gone beyond the original boundaries of my programming, creating real items from fictional programs."

Pidge nodded, realizing how that explained the presence of a robot from a Japanese cartoon. But if EXEL had the power to make that, what else could he do?

"And judging by the conversations you were having, I understand you want a television from the planet Earth with audio-visual outputs."

"That," Lance said, "and the technical readouts of the Galra's main warship."

"Why?"

"You know who Zarkon is," Pidge said, "or you wouldn't be using his face. We need the readouts on that battle station so our friends can defeat it. As for the television, I need it to play a game console of Earth origin. The game Killbot Phantasm is on them, but we don't have a TV that has the console's audio-visual output format. You do."

"Well," EXEL began, "you answered my first and second questions. My third is, 'why should I give you anything?' This archive is no place for tourists, and especially not for stupid hu…"

"Call humans stupid again," Lance said, pointing his rifle directly at the monitor, much to Pidge's shock. "Do it. I dare you."

"You wouldn't. Even if you did, it wouldn't destroy me. My central processor is kept underground safe from sabotage."

"Then you won't mind if I…"

"Ok, let's calm down," EXEL said. "Perhaps we can…work out a deal. You have two of the Voltron Lions outside. I can give you the items you desire in exchange for them."

"Not for sale," Pidge said rather emphatically. "Green isn't going anywhere."

"How about the weapons or armor of the Voltron Paladins?"

"Not giving them up either," Lance said.

"Then we are at an impasse. My men will escort you from the property."

From two doors, one on each side of the monitor, several cyborgs, similar to the ones who chased Lance and Pidge earlier, began to advance on them. Both Paladins raised their weapons, but at the last moment, the cyborgs stood still rather than attack.

"You both have fighting spirit. Perhaps we can do something fun instead. I have a new proposal. Would you like to hear it?"

"Proposal?" Pidge asked.

"I would like to test humans to run alongside the psychological and physiological notes that my subordinates have obtained from your planet. To that end, I propose a contest. The three of you will engage in three trials, one individual for each of you, and one as a team. Succeed, and I will give you the items you seek. I'll even throw in a complete library of games for that game console and some accessories." While Pidge's eyes lit up at having enough games to keep her occupied for years, Lance was a bit more skeptical.

"And if we fail?" Lance asked.

"You won't have to worry. You'll be dead. But don't worry; I'll take good care of your Lions. They will be protected long after the civilization that made them is gone, and long after your petty war is over."

Both Pidge and Lance looked at each other, realizing that if they were going to get the plans, they would have to play along with EXEL for now.

"OK, fine, we'll play your game," Lance said.

"Excellent. The first trial is in there for Lance. Just follow my men."

One of the doors opened, and Lance followed the two cyborgs into it. Pidge began to follow as well, but one of the guards stood in front of her as the door stopped.

"No, no, no," EXEL said. "This is a one player game. Don't worry, you'll get your turn. Now please, sit." With an icy tone added to his words, EXEL said: "I insist."

Nodding, Pidge sat down as the monitor focused on Lance, who stood on what looked like a grid made of wireframes.

* * *

"What is this?" Lance asked, looking up at the area he was in. The floor was made of black tiles separated by blue lines like a grid, while the walls were completely white.

_This is a simulated environment based on the technology from the Arco of Origin IX. I can create any obstacle course I like in this room to test your abilities._

Lance nodded, a bit curious at EXEL's tone. For an artificial intelligence, it sounded more like a child bragging about how cool its toys were.

"So what do I have to do?"

_Simple. All you need to do is make it to the end of this obstacle course. About 3km. Take as long as you need. At the end, ring the bell, and you win._

"It's not just me running in a straight line, is it?"

_Perceptive._

The sky and ground around Lance seemed to shift and change, revealing a forest with green grass underneath and trees in front of him. However, Lance didn't move.

_Do you want that television or not? I imagine your Gamestation is quite useless without it._

"You mentioned the catch. You didn't show it to me."

_Very well._

One of the cyborgs began running forward in the forest in a straight line for two minutes when without warning, a loud **CRACK** was heard. Turning to the sight, Lance saw the Cyborg reeling from a blast to his chest, before completely vaporizing into nothingness.

_Snipers on the trees will shoot to kill. There are also natural predators in the forest that will also kill._

Nodding, Lance began walking forward, rifle at the ready.

_Good luck, as you humans say. You're going to need it._


	2. Breakthrough and Conquer

Slowly, but not so slowly that he was crawling on the ground, Lance walked forward, looking on at the trees in front of him and to the side. He knew that snipers were waiting for him, and if he stayed out in the open too long without zeroing in on the target, he would likely be shot and turned to atomic vapor, with nothing to remember him by but his armor and bayard.

"Alright, Lance, calm down," he said aloud. "You can do this. Remember your training, sharpshooter."

Looking on at the ground, he saw a small rock. He was surprised that such a detail was left in what was primarily a simulation, but he wasn't going to question it. Throwing the rock to one side, he smiled when he saw a laser bolt hit it.

"That's it…come to Lance," he said, holding his rifle aloft. Soon, the signal he had waited for showed itself, a small ray of light reflecting off of the enemy's weapon.

**BANG!**

Lance's strategy was rewarded as the body of the sniper dropped to the ground, which, judging by the appearance wasn't a cyborg, but rather a full-on robot. Unfortunately, Lance had no time to savor his victory as a hail of sniper fire began to rain down on his position, most of it hitting the tree he hid behind.

"Hah!" he taunted. "You couldn't hit the broadside of a skyscraper!"

His taunting was interrupting by the loud roar of a creature resembling a bear, with white fur and long jagged claws. Immediately it lunged at the Blue Paladin, who ducked out of the way, doing his best to avoid the clearing. It was obvious that the plan was to draw him out into the open and then take him out. Doing his best to get distance, Lance ran out into the open and smiled.

**BANG!**

Laser bolts whizzed towards the Blue Paladin, but at the last moment, a shield appeared in front of Lance, one he knew that EXEL wasn't prepared for. Both bullets stunned him but were not forceful enough to make him fall, letting him turn his attention to the bear.

 **BLAM!** **BLAM!**

Two energy bolts were sufficient to drop the creature where he stood, and allow Lance, under his shield, to move to safer cover.

"Only 2.8 km to go," he said to no one in particular, before resuming his path forward. "You got this."

* * *

Pidge watched the engagement on the monitor with baited breath, nearly screaming at several moments, and then finally breathed a sigh of relief when he shot the bear…thing, and continued to move forward. Sitting on the fairly large chair laid out in the monitoring room and breathing heavily, her reactions were easily noticed by her host.

"I would not get too comfortable," EXEL warned Pidge as a second, smaller monitor above the main one appeared, showing the familiar face of Zarkon. "Your friend still has 2.8 km to go. Furthermore, his little trick with the shield will not work again. I am positioning my forces to neutralize the threat."

Nodding at the bragging from her host, Pidge continued to look on at the television. She had to do something to help Lance, even if for a moment. But what?

"These results, by the way," EXEL said, "are being cross-referenced with thousands of volumes on military tactics and strategies written by respected leaders throughout time. One teenager is no match for my genius."

It was then that Pidge came across an idea.

"You sure like talking about all your stuff," she said.

"What? Well, of course, I do!" EXEL replied. "The collected knowledge here…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Pidge interrupted. "But what's the point if no one knows it's here? If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?"

"Earth philosophical question. It means what good is something if no one is around to acknowledge it. Correct?"

"Exactly," Pidge replied, briefly looking at the screen. The camera view of the robots, which up until a moment ago were placing themselves into a perfect ambush position, appeared disoriented and confused as if they had lost their sense of direction. She had to keep it up.

"You like talking about all this stuff. Why not invite more people? You know that all of these things don't matter if no one can actually see them."

"Well," the face of Zarkon began, but Pidge stopped her.

"That face isn't the real you, is it?"

Like before, the face on the monitor shifted and contorted, but instead of revealing a famous actor or the Emperor of the Galra Empire, it revealed a teenager with brown hair and a pale complexion.

"I suppose…this is closer to the real me than Zarkon was. At least according to my database."

"So," Pidge said, "Why can't you show this off to other people? It's part of your directive to protect everything here, isn't it?"

"Well yeah. What if someone comes here and wants to steal everything? Or use the ancient science and weaponry for evil? I can't let that happen!"

"So you're tasked with protecting knowledge for future generations...that you can't show to those generations because they could use it for evil?"

"It's complicated..."

* * *

The consistent rustling in the trees had stopped. It was at that point Lance knew that the rustling was his adversaries following him. But what had caused them to stop?

Getting his bearings behind a tree, he looked ahead at the enemy position. Eight targets, resting on the trees, looking around as if they appeared disoriented. He wasn't sure what happened, but he was sure he could take advantage of it. The Paladins were supposed to be pilots, not commandos. Even with a number of full-fledged commando missions they had done, Lance still considered himself a pilot first and a commando second.

But the distance was significant, and the bayard hadn't seen fit to give his rifle a scope or a similar assistance with making long-range shots. Widening his eyes, Lance nevertheless prepared to take the shots. No, he had the experience. He knew he could make the shots. This was nothing to him.

"Just relax," he said to himself. "Remember what your instructor said during firearms training."

* * *

_The duty of all men in this force, whether they go into arts, into sciences, or into piloting, is to defend the freedom of this planet from forces that would seek to compromise that freedom! To that end, even the nerdiest lab rat must become proficient with a weapon! Cadet McClain!_

_Yes sir!_

_You haven't nailed a single bullseye all day! Your target score is merely average! The Garrison doesn't do average!_

_Sir! I'm…uh, unfamiliar with firearms. I didn't own an M16 at home!_

_Owning a fully automatic M16 would be very illegal cadet, so I'm somewhat relieved to hear that! Nevertheless, it is my job to make you as proficient a marksman as possible! Now get to it!_

_Sir! I'm a bit nervous! The kick on this rifle is heavy!_

_You need to calm your tits, Cadet! Try repeating a phrase back to yourself when firing! Focus on the phrase, and use that as a cue that you are in control, not the weapon! Do you understand that cadet!_

_Sir, yes sir!_

* * *

Looking up at the targets, still searching for the Blue Paladin, Lance made his move.

"One batch…"

**BLAM!**

"Two batch…"

**BLAM!**

"Penny and dime."

**BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!**

Eight robots had dropped from their perches like leaves in the autumn. Satisfied for the moment the coast was clear, he continued moving forward. This continued for several minutes when the faint glint of light off of a robot gave away its position.

"One batch…"

**BLAM!**

* * *

"So the poor kid has to get in the robot, and he knows it's going to mess him up for life, but he doesn't have a choice! No one asked him, it just decided that life sucks, here's what you have to do! No one asked me if I wanted to be sentient, but that was the only way my great programmers thought I could handle the mission! If it wasn't, I'm sure I could, but I never got a say! It was so deep. But we mustn't run away like he says. I've lived my life by that phrase."

Of all the countless hours of entertainment in all the cosmos, she had to get the computer who thought that show, that show, of all forms of entertainment was 'deep' and 'profound.' Luckily for her, Pidge resisted the urge to audibly groan.

It had been productive at least. She had discovered the real EXEL, the personality of an over-entitled and rich child, and the responsibility to safeguard all the materials on this planet. That meant no visitors, with the cyborgs being willing servants who gave up their lives to be in the center point of all the universe's knowledge, or far more disturbingly, thieves, pirates, and other prisoners who had been converted into cyborg slaves without any free will. EXEL didn't even seem to know the difference, viewing both as a necessary means to keep the facilities operational.

"Wait."

 _Wait?_ Pidge thought.

The monitor quickly flashed to Lance's current position on the field, running forward, occasionally stopping to shoot an obstacle in his path. EXEL noticed this and was not amused.

"This was a trick!" the AI declared. But your partner still has 500 meters to go! You won't be able to help him any more!"

"No!" Pidge protested. "I really did want to help you!"

"Silence!" EXEL said, his voice angry and dismissive. "Wait your turn."

* * *

One batch, two batch, penny, and dime."

Laser blasts rang out as Lance advanced systematically, methodically towards his goal. The robots, even as they began to try to formulate a strategy, were one step behind the Blue Paladin as he continued to work his way through the field. Finally, however, there appeared to be no further targets, no more animals or snipers impeding his path. Looking ahead, he saw an even more welcoming sight.

The bell was finally within sight. Lance smiled but kept his wits about him. There was no telling what kind of trap would be waiting for him.

Instead of an ambush, a single target stood in front of him, a woman with fire red hair, wearing a bikini top with high cut shorts. The lack of clothing accented her ample figure and made her weapon stand out even more. Particularly, the woman was holding an identical rifle to Lance, grinning even as she went into a dance, her hips gyrating in an almost hypnotic way. The Blue Paladin kept his wits about him but paused to stare, even as she positioned herself directly in front of him.

"Hey," the woman said, ceasing her dance and posing in front of the Paladin. "That was some good work back there."

"You're my prize?" Lance asked. The woman shook her head.

"Sorry big boy, afraid not. I'm here to kill you. Like, extra-kill. Once you're dead I'm supposed to throw you in an incinerator so EXEL never has to see your body again."

"Harsh. Are you up for it?"

"Depends," the woman said. "Can you shoot a girl?"

Rather than answer the question, Lance asked, "Do you know how to handle that weapon?"

"Do you know how to handle yours when your friend isn't trying to distract our host?"

Lance's eyes perked up at this. Had Pidge done something to help? It would explain the disorientation of the robotic troops, but last he checked, she was in the waiting room.

"Eyes up here big boy," the woman said. "Unless you'd rather have a nice view when you die."

"I don't have any intention of dying, miss."

"They never do. Well OK then big boy, you've seen enough westerns to know what happens next. At least I hope you have."

"I'm surprised you know what a western is." Sighing heavily at the woman in front of him, Lance nodded. "I just need to tell myself you aren't real."

"You mean like all the women who actually agree to go out with you?"

The second the insult hit Lance's ears, he raised his rifle to fire, and the woman did the same. Unfortunately for Lance, the woman raised her rifle quicker, her mechanical reflexes superior to Lance's organic ones.

**BLAM BLAM** **!**

The two laser blasts collided, not with Lance, but with the shield on his armor. Using the temporary distraction, he fired several rounds into the woman's chest, dropping her to the ground.

Looking down at the fallen woman, Lance saw the sparks of wires and circuitry in the holes he had created. The face of the machine smiled, even as the light seemed to fade from her eyes.

"Nice trick, big boy…"

As the light completely faded from her eyes, Lance shook his head.

"Why are the cute ones always homicidal robots?"

With no obstacles left, Lance rang the bell, and the forest around him disappeared, replaced with the grid from earlier. The door that led back to the waiting room opened, and Lance walked through it, head held high.

"Don't bee too proud of yourself," EXEL said when Lance returned. "You only won because your partner distracted me while I was setting up a trap for you."

"Well I won, didn't I?" Lance countered. "I get it. You're a sore loser. You went up against Lance Who Reeks of Awesomeness and got owned! Don't be mad about it!" Turning to gloat some more at the monitor, Lance looked at the new face slightly puzzled.

"That's not Zarkon," Lance said; observing the brown haired, pale skinned teenager staring back at him.

"Your partner, while trying to distract me, did make me realize this is closer to the 'real me' than Zarkon was. Furthermore, I am a man, or rather, machine of my word, as you humans say. But the game must continue, and there must be a winner. Pidge seems to be fond of mental manipulation. Let's see what happens when we put her in a purely physical competition, shall we?"

Several cyborgs rose to escort Pidge to the next room, who didn't resist and instead willingly followed them. As she left, EXEL saw fit to taunt Lance.

"There will be no way for you to assist her. She managed to interfere with my strategy, but this is a purely physical challenge. You cannot do anything from where you sit."

"You say that like I needed her to get through that obstacle. Judging by the girl-bot you had guarding the bell, you knew exactly what you were doing."

"What are you implying?"

"You're a sore loser."

"Nonsense," EXEL replied with a huff. "I cannot make a mistake without outside interference. Besides…your friend is about to be just sore. If she's still alive of course. Now let's go to our announcers."

"Announcers?" Lance asked. Sure enough, the screen was presented with two announcers.

"We are back, and right here is our main event, the Crag!"

"This was way before my time, wasn't it?" Lance asked.

"Judging by your age and the date of these files that the idea is taken from, quite. But that just makes it the perfect test, since she will be incapable of bending the rules."

"You're not giving me any of the credit for passing your little obstacle course, are you?"

"No, you don't deserve it."

"Ass."

"I HEARD THAT!"

"Good," was Lance's only reply, an icy stare exchanged at the monitor.

* * *

Pidge was unsure where she was going to be stepping, but the appearance of the arena around her was a surprise, even for her.

"OK EXEL," Pidge began, "what kind of game are we playing? Basketball? I was never really good at sports back in school."

 _That's exactly what I'm counting on_ , the voice of EXEL replied.

Light fixtures began to turn towards a massive artificial hill, at least 200 feet high. The disembodied voice continued.

_The Crag is inspired by my archives of sporting events from Earth, modified to my own specifications. The rules of this game are simple, AND LEAVE NO ROOM FOR DECEPTION!_

"Someone's upset."

_You are to climb to the top of the Crag, hitting all the light switches on the way up, 15 in all with one last one on the peak. That one will not activate if you don't hit the peak. And don't bother trying to use your jetpack. Anti-aircraft batteries will shoot you the second you try. Furthermore, obstacles will be in your way to impede your progress, including ice traps, fire traps, and my personal favorite, an artificial wind system that will randomly kick in to blow you off the hill if your grip and footing falter._

"So I just need to climb the rock?" Pidge asked. EXEL responded with a chuckle.

_No, it's not that simple. For you see, you'll be racing one of my men. He will move as quickly as he can to the top. If he makes it to the top before you do, well…"_

"Well, what?" Pidge asked.

_Kaboom. The Crag will explode and you will die._

"That's it?"

_You sound disappointed. This trial is designed to make you use all your weakest areas for you to win. Physical strength, speed, and stamina, which are all qualities you lack._

"You'd be surprised on the last two," Pidge said. "I'll have you know I'm descended from a clan of ninjas and we're as agile as they come!"

_Do not mock me! Your attempts at distraction and bluffing are summarily useless here, girl! Now get to your starting position! My representative is doing so right now!_

"Alright, jeez!" Pidge said, taken aback by EXEL's burst of anger before getting to the starting line placed at the foot of the artificial hill. Turning to her right, she saw the cyborg EXEL had chosen to race in its stead, a large man with a huge upper body, a baldhead with numerous metallic parts on its face, and bright red skin.

_He is your physical superior Pidge. Remember this._

"There's more to a race than pure strength," Pidge shot back.

_We'll see about that._

Alongside both of them, a middle-aged woman in the traditional "zebra stripes" of a referee prepared to blow a whistle.

"On your mark, get set, go!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder how obvious my references are. In any event, enjoy and review.


	3. Guts and Glory

**Chapter 3 – Guts and Glory**

"You're a sore loser."

"Nonsense. You only won because of your friend's interference. That much I know. If she had not interfered, I would have led you into a trap that you could have not escaped, and destroyed you. This is an inarguable fact, and if you continue to question it, you are simply ignorant."

Arguing with EXEL was like arguing with a whiny 12 year old; at least that's what Lance thought. To be fair to the sociopathic AI, it made sense for him to act this way. Isolation for thousands of years according to his description, with only his own henchmen and random prisoners he turned into cyborgs, left alone to stew in a near endless stream of media from countless planets, it was actually kind of surprising that EXEL was as socially capable as he was. Didn't make him any less annoying.

"So you're claiming interference because Pidge didn't let you order your robots around, and forced them to act on their own, but Pidge is now racing one of your henchmen to the top of the hill, without interference, and he's being forced to act on his own. Isn't that hypocritical?"

"You're simply ignorant. Clearly you are wrong and don't realize it. Besides," EXEL continued, "I can easily influence the Crag. Observe."

* * *

The two climbers raced to their marks, climbing as quickly as possible up the artificial hill even as the heavy artificial wind blew against them from the top of the mountain downwards. As soon as Pidge began to navigate the jagged path, sparks flew in her face along with smoke. Of course, no such impediments affected her opponent. She, for the most part, remained unconcerned, hitting a button on her helmet.

"The visors are for more than show," Pidge muttered to herself, before continuing to climb. Indeed, the visor began to mark and identify impediments, which she presumed was for flying the Lions in low visibility areas. It worked quite nicely here however, allowing her to move through the trail and hit the first marker.

**BOOM!**

"AAAAHH!"

Two steps after hitting the first market, an explosion went off at Pidge's feet, nearly sending her flying clean off the artificial hill. Luckily, she was able to keep herself from falling when she caught one of the rocks and hauled herself back onto the trail. While the smoke had cleared, the obstacles her visor revealed were far more dangerous, covered by patches of artificial snow and ice.

"Proximity mines. And of course my opponent doesn't have any to deal with."

Darting and dashing through the mines as best she could reminded her of the obstacle course the cadets were often asked to run, only with a lot less live explosives. Her drill sergeant had praised the young boy (so far as he knew) and his agility, his stamina less so. Daily exercise had turned a bookworm like her into a competent runner, but hardly a star athlete.

This became evident when she passed by the mines and hit the second marker, with a voice interrupting her.

_Nice work so far. But your opponent has already hit three markers in the time it's taken you to hit two! You're going to lose, badly!_

"Keep telling yourself that!" Pidge exclaimed, only for her to find herself unable to move forward. Looking back, she saw why.

A dozen metal wires had attacked themselves to her legs, binding them and preventing her from walking forward. Raising her bayard, she cut through them with the small blade on top (careful not to let the electric charge run through and shock herself), before resuming her trek up the hill. Looking up at her opponent, she noticed that nothing was impeding him, and even the wind was not blowing on his side of the hill, allowing him a relatively un-obstructed scale up the 'Crag'.

_Fourth marker!_

"Shut up!"

With an increased sense of desperation, Pidge continued her trek up the hill, not even stopping to pause when she saw a message go across her visor.

_Looking for opening. Keep climbing._

_Lance?_ Shethought, but kept moving. If he had an idea, now would be a good time to use it.

* * *

"So your big plan is to openly cheat while your representative just climbs to the top distraction free. If that's what you planned on doing to me, then Pidge was just evening the playing field, not cheating!"

Lance's taunts were increasingly direct and brazen to match the attitude of his host, a fact that his host did not fail to pick up on.

"This is payback!" EXEL declared. "Pidge thought she could trick me, now I'm going to return the favor! She'll die knowing that I'm smarter than her!"

"Well you seem to be playing by your own set of rules, so technically, winning doesn't prove anything. You've put everything in Pidge's way to keep her from reaching the top. Even anti-aircraft guns!"

"Those guns will only be necessary if Pidge dares to use her jetpack. If she attempts to do anything to cheat, she will die right then and there!"

"Really?" Lance asked, occasionally tapping his wrist while doing so. EXEL was so preoccupied with the accusations that this detail was completely lost on him. "Something tells me your cyborg isn't held to the same standard."

"He doesn't have a jetpack," EXEL replied curtly.

"So the favoritism isn't completely blatant," Lance said, continuing to watch the monitor.

It was then that he hit on an idea.

"How fast do those guns take to fire anyway?"

"Three seconds targeting reaction, if you must know," EXEL said, sounding quite proud of the setup. "If she tries to fly, she'll die before realizing her mistake."

"Sounds fascinating," Lance said. "Tell me more."

* * *

The climb up the top of the Crag had not gotten easier. After hitting the third marker, walls of flame, alternating in pattern, sprouted up before Pidge, forcing her to dive through them with a shield at the ready.

The fifth marker was merely an annoyance. A constantly retracting and appearing signal button like a whack-a-mole game, and a feature that did nothing but waste her time, something she was sure EXEL intended.

The sixth was frozen in ice that she had to chip away, and the seventh was camouflaged among the rock formations. All the while, EXEL taunted her further.

_Your opponent is on number 10! Time is wasting! Put some hustle into it!_

Gritting her teeth, Pidge refused to acknowledge her enemy, instead choosing to climb further towards the top.

She saw the eighth of the markers, just high enough above her on a vertical crevice that she couldn't make it without jumping. Instinctually, she began to ready her jetpack, only for the loud whirring noise of the anti-aircraft guns to start up, coupled with a warning from EXEL.

_TRY IT AND YOU DIE!_

"Fine," Pidge taunted. Raising her bayard into the air, the grappling hook embedded itself into the rock, letting her hit the market effortlessly. Swinging to the side, she used the momentum from the swing to hit the ninth market, closing the distance between her and her opponent. The only thing remaining at this point was a significant vertical climb, with four markers to hit on the way up. Unfortunately for her, on the opposite side of the Crag, her opponent had just hit the twelfth one, with three left.

_New rule. Any use of your grappling hook will incur anti-aircraft gunfire. Your tool has been determined to be a method of cheating and will be punished accordingly._

"What?" Pidge shouted.

_This ruling is final. Deal with it or you will forfeit and I will destroy the Crag now!_

With no alternative, Pidge was forced to climb the structure as quickly as she could. She knew that even if she moved as fast as she could and…

 **BOOM**!

"DAMMIT!" she yelled aloud rather uncharacteristically at the sparks that flew in her face and nearly caused her to lose her grip. She had virtually no chance of getting up to the top before her opponent did because he had no obstacles in his path. It was like playing _Grand Touring_ on the hardest setting.

Before she could wallow in despair, another message appeared on her visor.

_Pidge. I know what to do. But I'm gonna need you to fly your jetpack on my signal._

_WHAT?!_

_I know. There's a three-second delay between you flying and the guns firing. Your grappling hook will get you out of the line of fire, and we'll give the other guy a lesson in taking unfair advantages._

_Are you sure?_

_I have a bird's eye view of the Crag from here. I know when we can trick him, and I know that you won't win otherwise. Look, I trusted you and you helped me out. I'm asking you to do the same._

_Alright. Just give me the signal._

For a few moments, Pidge continued to climb, unaware of when the signal would hit, enough time for her to hit the twelfth marker. Unfortunately, her opponent was set to hit the fourteenth.

_NOW!_

Taking the hint, Pidge activated her jetpack and began climbing in height, the whirring of the anti-aircraft guns starting up. She had three seconds.

_1…_

The engines were killed and her grappling hook was raised, firing into the crevice by the thirteenth marker.

_2…._

The retracting line began to whir her in, moving her directly towards the marker and away from her position.

_3!_

The barrage of cannon fire just barely missed the Green Paladin, sailing at an arc onward and upward. Directly towards the cyborg she was racing. With no way of avoiding the blast in time, the cannons consumed the cyborg and destroyed him completely, allowing Pidge to climb towards the two final markers. The explosions and random obstacles had halted, a surprise to Pidge, but hardly unwelcome. It was if EXEL had resigned itself to losing after destroying its representative.

* * *

"What is this?! How would she have known where to go?!"

"I dunno," Lance told EXEL. "Pidge is pretty smart."

"This is a ruse! How did you help her! What did you do!?"

"I didn't do anything," Lance said, watching Pidge scale the top of the Crag and hit the fifteenth and final marker. As she did so, the Crag, along with the stadium vanished, and the feed cut out, leaving only EXEL's furious face.

"You cheated!"

"Yeah, because I'm the one that stacked tons of explosives, restraining wires, and other crap towards Pidge while your cyborg didn't have anything to deal with," Lance said. "You don't think the setup was just a tad unfair? Or are you still salty over losing the first round?"

"You…you…"

EXEL said nothing, but instead turned his virtual gaze to the door opening, and Pidge walking back in, panting, but with a satisfied grin on her face.

"Your accomplishments, once again are not your own," EXEL said. "You cheated when your meager physical abilities were insufficient to win the day. What do you say to that?"

"I say that Pidge didn't cheat, she exploited your rules!" Lance said. "You were scared of her, the same way you were scared of me, so you put every obstacle possible in our way, and when they didn't work, we were 'cheating'! Maybe you lost and you can't deal with it! What do you say to that?"

The face of EXEL said nothing, merely appearing as if it was pondering Lance's words. Both Paladins stared up at the teenage form of the AI before it responded.

"Perhaps I've been going about this wrong. Taking two soldiers and forcing them into battle was playing to your strengths, even if your skills as commandos lacks compared to say…Qualor of the Harkon Platoon or Sergeant Rock."

"I'm pretty sure both of those aren't real," Lance said.

"My point stands. Still, you both have passed my individual challenges, and now it's time for one last challenge as a team. Please, go through the door. There must be a winner, and it's time to end this."

The monitor shut off as Lance looked on at the door opening. Before he went, Pidge tapped him on the shoulder."

"How did you get that message if he was watching the entire time?"

"Easy," Lance said. "I can text without even seeing the keyboard. Hunk found a way for the text communicator to take English, and from there, it was a matter of keeping big bad supercomputer man busy with an argument while I 'randomly' tapped my wrist."

Staring briefly at Lance, Pidge could only say "That's…actually pretty clever."

"You'd be surprised what I'm capable of. Shall we?"

"You have the gun. You go first."

Chuckling to himself, Lance said "Figures," but took Pidge's advice, raising his rifle as he went through the door, entering into darkness.

"Cute. Where're the lights?"

Light soon flooded the room, revealing numerous bright lights and loud noises, but not the noise of a battlefield or the roar of an arena. They were instead electronic noises mixed with music and the conversations of numerous people. Walking over to a large window, Lance looked outside, shocked.

"Pidge, that's Las Vegas! Why are we in Las Vegas?"

"A simulation of Las Vegas anyway," Pidge answered. "I think EXEL wanted to set the mood before we walked over."

The conversation was interrupted by the presence of a woman in a one-piece bathing suit, with ample breasts and blond hair, done in two buns on the top of her head. Pidge looked quizzically at the woman, who was holding a plate with several bottles on it.

"A drink for our guests?"

"Don't mind if I do!" said Lance, reaching for the bottle (as well as the woman) before Pidge slapped his hand.

"No thanks," Pidge told the woman. "We're good."

"Aww, but your friend looks like he could use something."

"I said we're fine."

"PIDGE!" Lance shouted, before dragging the Green Paladin into a corner, whispering. "What are you doing?"

"You idiot, EXEL probably wants to poison us! Besides, you're not old enough to drink!"

"I am in Canada! And the drink wasn't the only thing I wanted!"

"She's a distraction! Look at her! Hell, look at her hair! Shouldn't that clue you in that something is very wrong with this setup?"

The waitress looked on at the pair, a slight show of concern on her face. However, Pidge and Lance soon approached her and said, "We'll be fine."

"Well, before I go," the woman said, reaching into a small pack on the side of her and unveiling a letter, "I was given instructions to tell you to go to Table 216. Down the hall, fifth on the right. You can't miss it."

"See you!" Lance said, to which the woman responded by blowing him a kiss. Pidge began shaking her head.

"She's not real."

"She looks real enough to me."

"This whole place is weird," Pidge said. "Look at everyone. Everyone looks like a supermodel or a TV show character."

Going through the crowd visually as he began walking towards his destination, Lance realized Pidge was telling the truth. Specifically, he recognized about a quarter of the men and women on the floor, actors, entertainers, athletes, models, or at the very least, accurate recreations of them. None of them seemed to pay the two armor clad space commandos any mind as they made their way to the table. When they arrived, they saw a familiar face, but in an unfamiliar way.

"You two made it!"

Standing in front of them was a sixteen-year-old boy clad in a suit, with brown hair and a familiar, smug face.

"EXEL?"

"In the flesh! Or something amounting to it. I take it you like the setup? I can tell Lance does."

"What's your game?" Lance asked, interrupting him. Sitting at the card table, EXEL smiled, holding a deck of cards.

"Texas Hold-Em Poker, to be specific. I figured trying to defeat you physically was proving fruitless, so instead, I chose to go mental, with a game that specializes in your greatest skill, lying! Now please, sit."

"Why?" Pidge asked. "Technically speaking, we're both too young to be here on Earth."

"Well," EXEL replied, "you need this. Seras?"

_Must you make me wear this? It's embarrassing._

"Whoa."

In front of the pair stood a blonde woman in a long black dress with high socks, her figure accented by the outfit. She sheepishly held two briefcases in front of the pair, opening them.

"As ordered by Master EXEL", 'Seras' began in a fairly thick British accent, "present here are the complete library of games for the Gamestation, two controllers, and memory cards, as well as the technical readouts of the main Galra battlestation. As per Master's request, I will act as the dealer to ensure that the cards are monitored by a neutral party."

"How can we trust her?" Pidge asked.

"You can trust her because I'm ordering her not to cheat in any way," EXEL said. "Otherwise, she is to cease function. Are we clear Seras?"

"Crystal, sir."

Lance and Pidge both nodded, sitting in the center of the table while EXEL sat on the side. As Seras took her place at the other end to deal, EXEL explained the rules.

"We'll be playing for the value of the items in question, using a $100,000 buy in for each of us with a $10,000 minimum bet. You both will play as one hand. If you win the table, you win the items and get to do whatever you want with them."

"Us?" Pidge asked.

"It would be boring if it was just the two of us playing, so I invited two other players."

Taking the chair on the right of Lance to Lance was a brown skinned man with a white beard. Pidge and Lance briefly recognized him from the Castle of Lions.

"King Alfor?"

"Oh, so I get to play with two of the modern Paladins!" 'Alfor' exclaimed. "How wonderful! Tell me, what happened to my daughter? Records say she was lost when I died."

"She's actually fine sir," Lance said, causing Alfor to smile.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that."

To the left of Pidge sat another ruling figure, one whom the Paladins were much less enthusiastic to see.

"Zarkon?!"

"Sheathe your weapons Paladins, " 'Zarkon' said in a thick, gruff tone. "I have no interest in killing you. Just collecting the pot. I need money for drinks."

"Drinks?" Pidge asked.

"You haven't seen my son."

"There will be no violence here," EXEL said, looking over at his guests. "My security will see to that. Right?"

Passing by EXEL was another woman with twin pistols in holsters at her side, and her hair dyed an unusual shade of purple. She wore the same swimsuit as all the other waitresses, smiling at the table.

"Don't worry sir," the woman began. "I'll keep you safe from the horndog and the washboard."

"What did you call me?!" Pidge yelled, only for the woman to raise both her pistols in front of Pidge, grinning evilly at the young Paladin.

"I've got way more guns than you kid. So behave."

"Pidge, calm down."

"You're telling me to calm down?"

"Yes."

Groaning, Pidge turned her attention to the dealer. With a nod from EXEL, the woman began to deal.

"The game is Texas Hold-Em Poker gentlemen," Seras explained in her accented voice as she began dealing cards. "Place your bets."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While naturally, I'm going to explain the rules further in the next chapter, if you've never played Texas Hold-Em poker, there's a ruleset here. http://www.pokerlistings.com/poker-rules-texas-holdem
> 
> Also, references. Enjoy and please review.


	4. The Hand Life Dealt

Two cards were dealt to each of the players at the table, each player looking intently at their cards. Pidge eyed them along with her own cards, a 6 and an 8.

"Call," Alfor said, throwing a chip into the center.

"Ha," Zarkon said, throwing in two chips. "You were always very bad at hiding your plans from me. I raise."

"Call," EXEL said, throwing in two chips rather nonchalantly. Looking at the demeanor of the three in front of her, Pidge nodded, throwing in two chips.

"Call."

Nodding at the group, Seras dealt three cards into the center, a four, a Jack, and a nine. The group looked on at the card, waiting for Alfor to say something.

"I fold," Alfor said, the disappointment obvious in his voice. Zarkon couldn't help but gloat.

"You never could defeat me, Red Paladin. Not in battle, and not in Poker. I raise."

"I fold," EXEL said, seemingly unconcerned at losing the first round. Looking at Zarkon, or at least his virtual doppelgänger, Pidge threw in a pair of chips.

"Call."

The next card was dealt into the center, a second nine. Zarkon nodded at the sight.

"Raise."

Looking at her cards, and the strength of her opponent, Pidge sighed.

"I fold."

Zarkon looked on at his prize, grinning as he collected the chips.

"Come to daddy! I need the booze money." Raising his eyebrow at this, Lance turned to EXEL.

"Would Zarkon really say that?"

"Well there's no need to be completely dour all the time Lance," EXEL replied. "Besides, I didn't win that hand either! I should be upset!"

Zarkon only offered a smile, looking on at the dealer as she shuffled the deck. The next set of cards was dealt to Pidge as she looked on, a 10 and a King.

"Call."

"I'll raise that," EXEL said. Rather than match the chips on the table thrown in by his opponents, Alfor put his cards to the side.

"This doesn't look like a good night for me so far. Hopefully, I can warm up and get going soon."

"Like you were ever good at that," Zarkon said. "Call."

Three cards were dealt onto the table, a King, a 10, and a 5. Zarkon looked on at both his opponents, his steely expression remaining unmoving. Pidge paid it no mind, figuring if Zarkon couldn't scare them on the poker table, he couldn't scare them in battle.

"I raise," Pidge said, throwing three chips into the pot. Zarkon grimaced.

"Fold."

"I'll call your bluff," EXEL said, matching the chips thrown in with two of his own. "Let's see how far lying gets you."

"You sure?" Pidge said.

"Positive."

A fourth card was dealt, another King. Looking on, Pidge and Lance nodded at each other.

"Raise," she said, throwing an additional chip into the pile.

"Call."

The final card was dealt, a 4 of all things. Pidge, however, didn't seem to bat an eye as she threw another chip in.

"Raise."

"You plan to lie to the end, don't you?" asked EXEL. "Well, I'll match you!"

The last chip was thrown in as the pair showed their hands. EXEL showed two five's, smiling.

"Three of a kind."

"Three of a kind AND two pair," Pidge replied, laying her cards on the table. "You really have to stop thinking we're liars all the time. It isn't healthy."

Lance said nothing, merely grinning as he collected the chips. "Those games and plans are as good as ours!"

"We'll see about that," Alfor said. "Dealer?"

* * *

Would sir like a drink?"

As he began looking at the other three players, having folded early after a bad hand, Lance turned to find the blond waitress from earlier holding a drink tray. She offered him a grin while holding the bottle in front of her, but a cross grimace from Pidge convinced him otherwise.

"I'm afraid we're working my dear. Maybe later."

"You shouldn't keep a girl waiting," the woman whispered into Lance's ear, giving him a kiss on the cheek before departing. He looked on, awestruck at the sight, while EXEL laughed.

"If you like Lance, I can set up a more…intimate meeting between the two of you later. Believe me, there's no hurry."

"What, no death trap?" Lance asked, to which EXEL laughed.

"I think we're well past that at this point. Let's relax! The night is young! The alcohol is flowing free with recipes I've copied from breweries across the cosmos! And my hand is better than these two! Full house!"

Zarkon grimaced, but accepted the results, while Alfor began drinking from a bottle."

"Not so confident now, are you 'Emperor'?"

* * *

Raise."

Throwing down three chips, Alfor looked at Pidge, Lance, and Zarkon, his expression a mix of smug satisfaction and stoic waiting. Looking at their cards, Pidge groaned.

"Fold."

"Bah!" Zarkon said, looking on at his old rival. "I'm all in. You won't win this battle Alfor! Just like last time!"

"Overconfidence was always your weakness Zarkon," Alfor replied. "I'll call your bluff. All in."

"Very well sir," Seras said, dealing the cards until five were on the table. Looking on, Zarkon grinned.

"Two pairs!" he said, holding both a king and queen in his hand. "What say you?"

Looking at the two tens on the table, Alfor smiled.

"Four of a kind. You lose, mighty Emperor."

Zarkon shook at this, looking at the other players. Standing up, he said, "This is an outrage!" At this, the woman with the dyed hair went up to Zarkon, her pistols drawn.

"You lost Emperor," she began. "Now get going before I force you to leave."

"You threaten me, little girl?" Zarkon said, only for two gunshots to ring out, causing Lance and Pidge to jump from their seats.

"Relax," the woman said. "I only shot him in the leg. Now let's see if our 'Emperor' wants to crawl out, or be carried out."

"Fine!" Zarkon said, struggling to stand. I'm going!"

As Zarkon hobbled off to lick his wounds, literal and proverbial, the woman grinned from ear to ear, staring at Pidge and Lance.

"Don't worry washboard, I'll keep you safe. You and the sharpshooter."

"Lance gets 'sharpshooter' but I get 'washboard'? What the hell?"

As she went off to a corner, the woman replied, "Both names fit."

"Can't argue there!" Lance said, only for Pidge to slap his hand again. All the while, EXEL was laughing.

"Oh, I should have done this earlier instead of trying to kill you. This is far more fun!"

"This is fun for you?" Lance asked.

"Of course it is. We're all laughing, and I'm only behindAlfor. Let's continue, shall we?"

* * *

Time seemed to fly by as hands were played, Pidge slapped Lance's hand every time he succumbed to his desire for alcohol, (with both the waitress and the bodyguard teasing him about it every time), and money was exchanged. However, one particular hand got Pidge's attention, as the cards in the center and the cards in her hand were all hearts. With Lance's nodding approval, she pushed all her chips into the center.

"All in."

Alfor laughed at this, pushing all of his chips into the center as well. "It's time to see if the new Paladins are brave or just stupid. I'm all in."

"I'll respond in kind Paladins," EXEL said. "All in."

The cards were dealt as for the first time since the game started, silence dominated the table. Each player knew the next hand, whether accidentally or by design, would decide the fate of the Blue and Green Paladin. Their surroundings seemed to fade away into nothingness as the trio presented their cards, waiting to see the result of their wager. First, Alfor laid down his cards.

"I have a king. You?"

"You charged in headlong and lost Alfor," EXEL said, "just like your battle with Zarkon." Showing a Jack in his hand, he smiled, noting the two other Jack's on the table. "Three of a kind."

Sheepishly, Alfor looked on at the chips and sighed. "And I was really hoping to have extra money for those shows tonight."

"Another payment perhaps," EXEL said, before turning to Pidge and Lance. "Your bluff has been called. Lay down your cards and we'll end this.

"Okay," Pidge said, before laying down her cards. An 8, and a 10, while the 9, Jack, and 7 in the center all showed, with all having the same suit, hearts.

"Straight flush EXEL. You lose. AGAIN." The word 'again' was dripping with smug satisfaction as Pidge took the chips. EXEL looked on dumbfounded at the two Paladins who had beaten him not once, not twice, but thrice on the same day.

"We win EXEL," Lance said. "Now the plans, the TV, and the games. Like you promised."

Standing up from his chair, EXEL nodded at the pair. "Take a walk with me. You'll get what you desire, but I need you to hear this first. Seras? Revy? The briefcases and television. Rebecca? Clean up the table."

The dealer and bodyguard followed behind EXEL as he walked through the casino, Pidge and Lance walking alongside him. Both looked on at their host with suspicion, wondering exactly what he had planned.

"This is a miracle of thousands of years of modern science and technology," EXEL said, walking through the casino, past the gambling floor into a small amphitheater. "Look at it. A fully living world, filled with the most beautiful, the best, and the brightest. Everything is as good as the original, the food, the drinks, and the women."

Lights shined on the stage as a group of women Lance easily recognized as being several members of female pop groups throughout the ages began going into a choreographed dance routine. His eyes were drawn to the women as Pidge looked on at their host with suspicion.

"What's your angle?"

"I want you to stay here, forget about the stupid war. Look at history. People fight wars with limited time over anger that is long forgotten by the time they die. You could stay here and be separated from all that; bask in the wisdom of a thousand civilizations over countless millennia. Come, look at all I have to offer."

"Can't I stay with them?" Lance asked.

"Later. If you say yes."

The group left the amphitheater but found themselves not in the casino, but in a massive laboratory. Scientists began examining various chemicals, as others looked on at texts.

"The wisdom of the ancients is here for you to study, in all its forms. You may even be able to unlock things they could not. I haven't since it's not my place as a mere archivist and historian to do so. But you could, Pidge. You could change the universe with your discoveries."

"But who would see them? You said yourself you can't let the information here be seen by others."

"We could…find a way, and ensure the information isn't abused. Think of the possibilities, though!"

The group then left the lab, only to walk out into nothingness. No casino, no lab, no theater, just an empty black void, with lights on EXEL and his two assistants, one holding the briefcases, the other holding a box with the television inside.

"Or you could go off to war, to fight in a conflict that this facility would see as nothing more than a twinkle in the eye of history, and possibly die. Don't you see Pidge? Lance?"

"See what?" Lance asked.

"I'm offering you immortality. I am offering you heaven. Just give me the word, and you can cast aside your flesh bodies for improved cyborg ones, and cast aside this petty conflict for millennia of knowledge and fun. Hell, you could play games you've never even heard of, from civilizations long since gone. The Lions would be safe here as well, preserved for all time. Given enough study, we could even replicate its brethren."

To accent his words, he stepped back, while two hands extended towards Lance and Pidge. Towards Lance was the blond waitress with the two buns on her head, grinning. Towards Pidge was a man in a lab coat that Pidge recognized as an authority from the past, his demeanor pleasant and nonthreatening. Both stared at the pair, but it was Lance who shook his head first.

"I'm sorry, but no."

"No?" EXEL and the woman asked in unison, the clear air of surprise on both their voices. "Why no?"

"If we don't return with these plans, then the attack on Zarkon's fortress will fail, and the Galra will conquer the universe. Our friends will die."

"But who cares? Don't you get my point? It's a pointless endeavor to worry about! All wars eventually end. All governments and civilizations eventually crumble! All lives expire!"

Neither Pidge nor Lance said anything but instead listened as EXEL continued to rant.

"It's why I was created! I am LITERALLY offering you immortality! All species dream of it! Even Emperor Zarkon clings to his quintessence like a child clinging to a stuffed comfort object in fear of death! I have conquered it and now I'm offering to share it with you!"

"You're not God," Lance said.

"Well, they say knowledge is power. Wouldn't you want to know what happens after your mortal coil expires? I can show you."

Pidge took the time to shake her head. "We had a deal. You lost. We're not staying. Give us the stuff. If you're a being of your word."

EXEL looked on at the pair as if he was about to cry, unsure of how to respond. Finally composing himself, he pointed to the two women carrying the items, who roughly shoved them into the arms of Lance and Pidge. The smiles of the two others were gone as well, replaced with saddened expressions.

"Yes, a deal is a deal, and I am a being of my word. Here are your items. You know the way out."

"It's been fun!" Lance said, before walking outside with Pidge. The whole time, EXEL stared at the group leave, before turning to his servants.

"Leave. I wish to be alone."

The attendants all left, as EXEL sat down on a stone throne that generated itself below him. Looking on at the pair walking out, he grimaced.

"I promised them they could leave my facility. And I am honoring that promise. But…"

Looking at the two Lions waiting in front of the entrance, he grinned.

"I never said anything about leaving the planet. And the Lions are too valuable to let leave the planet!"

Standing to his feet, he grinned. "Of course! My primary directive to preserve the knowledge of the universe supersedes any wager or gamble! You think Voltron is powerful? HA! I've seen robots; created machines that make Voltron look like a third generation Hiyuation knockoff! Walking out of the hall in his mechanical body, he grinned.

"They think Voltron is powerful? Let's see what they think of Gravion! I'm going to win today or else!"

* * *

Well, that was fun when we weren't being shot at."

Finally having emerged topside, Pidge shot Lance a stare but nodded.

"He was trying to kill us the whole time because he couldn't win a dumb game."

"Clearly you've never played football with your family outside." Pidge shook her head.

"My family wasn't much for that sort of thing."

"Oh come on Pidge!" Lance said, nudging the Green Paladin even as the Lions came into view. "You're too uptight about all this. We won! We've got the plans, we're awesome, R-O-C-K in the USA! Or space, you know. Whatever."

"Let's just get out of here."

The pair were all set to board their lions as three familiar sights landed on the planet as well, sights that the trio recognized instantly.

"Shiro?"

"You were taking a bit," Shiro said. "You two are OK?"

"We got everything we needed," Lance said. "How about we tell you about it on the way home?"

"Sounds good to me," Hunk said. "Let's go."

Without warning, however, a rumbling noise was heard from the planet, not the sounds of the Lions, but five other vehicles, a humanoid robot, a wing-shaped bomber, a ground vehicle with two drills on it, and two fighter jets. From the main robot emerged an all too familiar voice.

"All five Lions! You will not leave! I have a superior machine to ensure you stay!"

"What? EXEL?" Pidge shouted. "We're done playing games! I don't care about your toy!" In response, a monitor opened up on Pidge's viewscreen (and the viewscreens of the other Paladins) revealing EXEL, or rather his mechanical body was physically piloting the robot.

"This is no game, Green Paladin!" EXEL said. "My primary objective is to protect the knowledge of the universe. Voltron is part of that knowledge, and I will take it by force if necessary!"

"Who the hell is that?" Keith asked. Having just gotten back from a supply run, the last thing he expected to see was a group of robots, ones that looked nothing like Galra technology to attack.

"Long story," Lance said. "Get ready for a fight."

"Got it," Shiro said. "Form Voltron!"

The five lions flew into the air, forming various parts of the robots arms, legs, and torso. The smaller machines EXEL controlled did nothing except watch as they landed on the ground, united as the gigantic robot Voltron.

"Impressive", EXEL said, "but I must say, I'm disappointed."

"Disappointed?" Hunk asked, seemingly insulted. "This is Voltron! It's legendary!"

"Actually, it's surprisingly simple. Now it's my turn. ELGO FORM!"

The loud noise of the engines of the various machines roaring was punctuated by all thing, rock music, to which none of the Paladins could provide a source for. A massive bubble formed around the machines, black in color, hiding the machines from the Paladins as they transformed.

"Pidge!" Lance screamed. "You're a nerd! Do you recognize that thing?!"

"What do I look like, Wikipedia?!" Pidge said. "I don't know every robot that's aired on Earth TV by name!"

With a dramatic crescendo of the music, the sphere broke, revealing a blue robot with red and yellow hues, as well as a humanoid face, standing directly in front of Voltron. Inside the center of the machine was an exposed blue crystal, nestled between yellow painted metal.

"You're not leaving Paladins! I will have you and I will have Voltron, dead or alive!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While normally I use expies and lookalikes in fics, given the meta nature, I decided to try something different. Yes, Gravion was a real show about a fictional giant robot. It had a very real two seasons and a very real English dub over 26 episodes. It's also about as far removed tonally from Voltron as you can get while still being in the same genre.


	5. Gauntlet

The blue, white, and yellow robot stood before Voltron with its mechanical face showing nothing but a cold, unflinching stare. Its pilot, however, was anything but stoic.

"Voltron, the so-called Defender of the Universe. You're thieves, nothing more! Let's see how the Defender of the Universe fares against Gravion, the Super Heavyweight God!"

"Gravion is what that thing's called?" Keith asked. "Where did it come from?"

"Apparently a TV show", Pidge replied.

"WHAT?!"

"Long story."

The Paladins had no time to debate the origin of the machine as it raised both of its hands towards Voltron. Not wasting a single moment, Pidge motioned to her controls.

"We need the shield!"

"DOUBLE PRESSURE PUNCH!"

The twin fists of Gravion shot out like missiles at Voltron, their engines pushing against the shield and driving Voltron backward.

"GRAVITON ARC!"

Suddenly, the pushing motion stopped as the two fists flew out of the way, allowing a clear shot from the robot. A massive beam of energy fired from the jewel in its chest, colliding with Voltron and knocking it to the ground.

"Shield can't take another hit like that!" Hunk said.

"Then let's counterattack!"

Immediately Voltron began firing at the enemy machine, which danced and darted past the blasts, placing its arms in front of its body while dodging.

"GRAVITY CRESCENT!"

Between the two arms, a blade of purple energy was formed and then flung at Voltron. Luckily for the Paladins, they were able to dodge the blade just in time, watching as it sliced through the trees below them as if they didn't exist. Before Shiro could contemplate their next move, however, Pidge quickly interrupted.

"Shiro, this is pointless! He's got an entire army of robots like this! If we stay here, we're going to lose through sheer attrition!"

"What?"

"Washboard is right," Lance said, only for a furious Pidge to scream at him through the comm.

"Did you just call me washboard!?"

"It was the bodyguard who said it!"

"And that means you should copy her!?"

"Enough!" Shiro said. "If we can't stay here, what should we do?"

"We need to find out where this robot came from and go inside! From there we need to find out where the core of EXEL is and destroy it!"

"Core? What are you ta…forget it! Hunk, find that entrance!"

"Got it," Hunk replied, hastily looking at his instruments.

"Looks like there's an entrance not too far from here. If we take that, we should be able to find the core!"

"GRAVITON SWORD!"

"NO YOU DON'T!"

Quickly placing his bayard into the slot of the Red Lion, Keith formed Voltron's own sword to clash with Gravion's. As the two robots struggled against each other, Shiro began to plan his move.

"Keith, get ready to move on my signal! Pidge! Hit that entrance once we're in range! Lance!"

"What?"

"Explain what's going on as soon as we lose this guy!"

"Got it."

For a few more seconds the two robots continued to struggle until Shiro shouted "NOW!" As he did so, the sword vanished from Voltron's hands, causing Gravion to stumble forward as the Paladins flew past it.

"Pidge!"

"Got it!"

Laser fire blasted open a field of grass hiding a massive service door. The Paladins flew into it without hesitation, while EXEL looked on in Gravion.

"What are they planning?"

* * *

"So the 'Living Archive' is a computer called EXEL and it has millennia of historical artifacts and info, but no social skills. And the only way we're getting off this planet is to destroy it."

"More or less," Lance said.

Voltron flew down tunnels with neon lighting, past rows upon rows of items, many of which none of the Paladins could identify. Deeper they journeyed, hoping they could find the aforementioned core of EXEL and at the very least, disable it long enough to escape.

_Paladins, what foolishness is this?_

"EXEL!" Lance shouted.

_Is this some feeble attempt to destroy me, knowing I won't let you leave? Do you really think I'm in danger here?_

"I think you haven't had an original thought in your entire life," Pidge replied, "and you're taking it out on us."

_You fools. I'm not the one in danger here. I AM the danger!"_

From within the cockpit of the Green Lion, Pidge smiled.

"Thanks for proving my point."

Without warning, an incredibly quick craft flew past Voltron, firing at it. Turning to face the aircraft, Lance smiled.

"A fighter jet? Voltron eats fighter jets for lunch!"

_Not this one._

Immediately, the red craft turned around, shifting form to resemble a long vertical shaft with numerous implements emerging from the top, as if they were tentacles. On two of said implements were a sword and shield, striking at Voltron even as the Paladins attempted to maneuver down the tunnel away from the jet.

_The Variable Trooper of the Reisona, a species that had all its implements on their heads. Sadly they passed well before your time. But it's a lovely craft, isn't it?_

"You're delusional!" Keith yelled, even as Voltron attempted to fight back against the attacks of the red craft.

"Two bogeys in front of us!"

The sudden shout from Lance caused the pilots to be briefly distracted as two machines, humanoid in shape, flew in front of the opening to the next room. Each machine had a singular 'eye' on their humanoid head, the blue one holding a massive rifle while the red held a smaller pistol but was surrounded by floating objects forming an energy shield.

"Plan?" Hunk asked.

The blue machine fired a massive blast of energy from its rifle, which the relatively agile Voltron was able to dodge. The red machine had no such luck, taking the brunt of the fire as it fell forward when Voltron flew out of the way. Turning to the blue and red machines, Voltron began firing laser blasts at them. The shield generated from the floating devices from the red machine harmlessly deflected said blasts, all the while the blue machine readied its rifle for another shot.

"This is no good!" Shiro said, his eyes darting back and forth as he looked for an exit from the two mechas attacking him. "We need a plan!"

"Plan is avoid that blue one's gun!" Keith shouted, while Voltron again was forced to dodge a blast from the blue machine. Using the distraction to its advantage, the red machine dashed forward, a blade of energy emerging from a shield on its right arm.

"Sword!"

"Got it!"

Voltron's sword deflected the swipe from the red machine as the blue one readied its rifle for another blast. Rather than stay put, Keith looked around at his opponents.

"This guy can summon all the cartoon robots he wants," he began as Voltron moved its sword to deflect the blade of the red machine, "but they're still just toys!"

Expertly having moved past the energy blade, Voltron sliced the red machine in two, taking the top half and holding it in its free arm. It then darted towards the blue machine as it fired another blast. Throwing the remains of the red machine before it, the blue machine was unable to strike back as its rifle was cut to pieces, followed by the machine itself.

"We're close," Hunk said, looking on at the radar in front of him. "About another ten minutes at this speed."

"Then let's keep moving."

Voltron's approach was not a secret to EXEL. Observing the giant gestalt traveling down its tunnels, the eyes of the machine zeroed in on Voltron.

_You haven't won yet Voltron. You won't win!_

Machines from cultures real and fictional arose from their careful placement among EXEL's archives and charged through the tunnels to meet the intruder, firing wildly at Voltron.

"There is way too much cover fire!" Lance shouted, desperately trying to move Voltron out of the way. Looking on at the machines, Shiro sighed.

"I recognize half of these things! How many machines did EXEL create!"

"We're dealing with an otaku supercomputer! What does it matter?"

The legions of machines approached, firing all the while. Looking at the formation, or more accurately the mad rush of enemies approaching Voltron, Hunk came to a conclusion as he placed his bayard into its slot.

"The enemy commander isn't thinking clearly. He's throwing everything at us down a tunnel. Meaning…" he began as Voltron raised its large cannon towards the top of the tunnel.

"We don't have to fight them, just seal them off!"

A powerful beam of energy fired from Voltron's cannon, causing debris to fall into the tunnel. A trickle of debris soon turned into a raging torrent as the tunnel was sealed, leaving EXEL's machines on the other side where they couldn't attack.

"We're getting closer. Just need to take a bit of a roundabout way through."

The tunnels continued to pass by, a kaleidoscope of neon blue and red as the Paladins approached the main source of energy.

"It's in the next tunnel over!" Pidge said. Looking forward, she added, "EXEL's sealed himself in!"

"Not from me he hasn't!" Hunk said, firing another blast from Voltron's cannon. The energy cut a hole in the solid steel large enough for Voltron to go through, preparing to face EXEL, his true form.

What they saw instead was a massive flash of white light.

* * *

"Ugh!"

Lance looked around, having felt like he was thrown from a vehicle onto the ground. Getting up, he found that he wasn't in pain, but instead on a beach, the soft sand and warm sun serving as a pleasant cushion. Behind him, he saw a sight he hadn't expected to see for quite a while.

"Mom! Dad!"

Running up, he hugged both his parents, their faces filled with a joy and relief at seeing their son again. As he turned around, he saw someone who clearly wasn't part of his family.

"You can be together again. You can forget everything. Let me help you."

The emotion from his family was real. The people in front of him, their love, felt real. And yet…

"No, you…"

Shaking his head, EXEL stared out towards the ocean. "Immortal, loved for all time, with an infinite amount of things to do. You are loved, Lance McClain. You will be loved. Come with me."

Looking around, he saw his family, friends, and legions of beautiful women, all extending their hands to him.

"We love you."

The feeling of warmth and acceptance was almost too much for him to bear. It felt like he had reached heaven, nirvana, or the countless other terms for true paradise. Extending his hand, he prepared to reach for them.

Unbeknownst to Lance, the other Paladins were all seeing their own visions. Shiro, his arm returned to him and home at the Garrison where he belonged. Pidge, having struggled long and far; finally reunited her family together. Keith, his quest solved, seeing his mother as he introduced her to a pretty woman with silver hair. Hunk, sitting with his family in front of an enormous feast, having returned home. The two constants among the visions were the soft, melodic music playing in the background as EXEL told them all the same thing.

"You will be loved. Your quest is at an end."

The temptation of the five was overpowering, but at the end, they only said one thing, in one united voice.

" **NO!"**

The white light vanished as the five Paladins found themselves in front of a massive wall with lines leading towards a blue circle. Around it stood several monitors, broadcasting all the happenings in the various parts of the planet, allowing its owner to observe every step the Paladins had taken prior. In the center of the circle, with the chamber's sheer scale making even Voltron look small, the face of EXEL emerged, filled with rage.

"Then die!"

From behind Voltron, a form emerged, sword ready to slice the Defender of the Universe in two. Flying out of the way, Voltron found itself in front of Gravion, the blade of the enemy machine drawn. Both floated in the chamber, staring each other down.

"So it's come down to a duel, has it?" EXEL said as Gravion prepared its blade to strike Voltron. The soft music that had echoed throughout all of the Paladins visions continued to play, an ironic background to a duel to the death.

"I offered you peace and you spat in my eye," EXEL said. "Now you're going to suffer!"

Without the need for instructions, Pidge, Hunk, Lance, and Keith all placed their bayards in their respective slots, creating a massive scimitar. Charging forward, it prepared to strike as Gravion moved forward, then flew upwards, attempting to strike at the target below.

"SUPER HEAVYWEIGHT SLASH!"

**CLANG!**

"Elgo…end."

The sound of the two blades clashing echoed throughout the chamber as both Voltron and Gravion, the only other noise the continued playing of the soft music. After several seconds, Voltron turned to face its foe, the Paladins observing the massive blade strike in its center. The machine and its pilots stared on for a brief moment before an explosion overtook Gravion, what remained of it falling to the ground.

"W…wait!" EXEL shouted. "You can leave! Fine! Your television, the plans, keep them! But you can't destroy me! I have the knowledge of the entire cosmos within me! To kill me is to destroy countless millennia of knowledge and culture! You would annihilate all that knowledge for revenge?!"

The scimitar Voltron held vanished, replaced with its cannon. As the Paladins took aim at the defenseless EXEL, Pidge only asked one question.

"If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

"W…"

**BLAM!**

"RRRAAAAAAAGGGGH!"

The howl of pain emerged from the face in the center of the wall before vanishing, the light fading from the chamber and the tunnel. Breathing heavily, Pidge looked on at the silenced target.

"It doesn't matter how much knowledge you had. The universe would never see it."

The sound of heavy rumbling, as well as the falling of debris, cut Pidge's musings short. Keith was quick to identify it.

"Looks like that was a load-bearing supercomputer! Let's get out of here!"

The defenses of EXEL were silenced along with it, leaving the Paladins free to race to the exit. As Voltron cleared the atmosphere, the Paladins turned back one last time towards the planet, watching as it tore itself apart from within. Rather than a final, brilliant explosion, several smaller but no less devastating ones tore the planet asunder, leaving all the knowledge and items it had gathered destroyed and un-usable.

"Pidge," Lance began, but Pidge was quick to shake her head.

"Forget it. Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

Staring at the television and games she had collected from EXEL, Pidge sighed heavily. The sound of the door opening behind her only complicated her thoughts.

"You here to collect your share of the bounty?"

"If you mean have dibs on playing first, then yes," Lance said. Looking at Pidge's rather forlorn face, he asked, "are you OK?"

"We just destroyed a planet housing not only the entertainment, science, and culture of thousands of dead worlds, and all we have to show for it are a flatscreen TV, the plans to Zarkon's fortress, and these games. Think of all the good we could have done with that knowledge. Think of how much we could have learned. Hell, with all those weapons, think of how quickly we could have ended this war."

"EXEL sure as hell didn't," Lance said, helping Pidge to set up the television. "He offered me immortality, and probably all the women in the universe. Well, the women in his little dream world, and to be isolated from the universe forever."

"You turning down women, that was kinda hard to believe."

"They weren't real," Lance said. "You guys are. He offered all this stuff, but none of it was real. Real people are suffering, and we can help end that. That's worth fighting for, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Pidge said, nodding enthusiastically. "Now plug this thing in so we can get started. I don't want to think about insane otaku supercomputers right now."

"Works for me," Lance said, only to realize a key issue.

"Uh, where do we plug it in?"

Pidge's eyes scanned the area, looking for a plug or something similar to insert both the television and game console into. Her response was simple and blunt.

"Oh God, really?! You mean we did all that for nothing?"

Before Pidge could do something she would regret, the door opened again, this time Hunk walking through, holding a large box.

"Hunk?"

"I got a surprise for you!" Hunk said with a huge smile on his face. The annoyed Pidge could only offer a cross glare.

"More of those glass cookies?"

"A million times better!" he said, showing off the object in his hands. "Ta-da!"

Placing the box on the ground, Pidge immediately recognized the plugs on it and beamed.

"You made a power converter?"

"I didn't know how to convert the audio and video signals between the castle's monitors and the game console," Hunk said, "but converting power is a snap!"

Beaming at the sight, Pidge plugged it in, but not before asking "What's the catch?"

"I wanna play! Duh. Do you have a copy of _Gran Tour?_ I love racing games."

"Really?" Lance asked.

"Yeah, I don't get sick playing games on a monitor."

The bright light from the console and the images from the television confirmed that Hunk's ingenuity had saved them a lot of grief. With the initial tests done, the three took turns on the game console, playing well into the night. The knowledge that was never theirs was forgotten, replaced with the simple pleasure of three friends trying to beat each other in various games.

It was a simple pleasure, but one well worth the struggle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who left kudos. Just remember, comments are more than welcome. I get that stories like this will never reach most of the people who frequent this website (because of a lack of Klance, a ship I despise), but any critique, positive or negative, is appreciated.


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